April 21st, 2013
by lisagray

I can’t remember anything like this before: tonight, Phil Humber got an out, then gave up 8 runs before being pulled. Ol Portie-poo must have gotten that ol deja vu creepies – one nice fly out, then single, single, double to shallow center, then massive double to right bullpen wall after 3 pitches way off the plate – all on balls up and over the plate. Time out. But Humber is all shook up. another 5 pitch walk. And then a hanging slider and POW 3 run homer into the RF bullpen by Mark Reynolds (who holds The Sacred All Time Got Struckt Out Record, who I thought was out of baseball) and it’s 5-0. Lil time out at the mound, Keuchel up and throwing, sumpin gotta be done. More hanging sliders and 3 more batters, still only 1 out and it’s 8-0.

It’s 6:17 and the ballgame is ovah already.

Incredible. But true. And jeezus, this is the third time in a WEEK the starter couldn’t finish the first inning. I am positive this has NEVER happened before in Astros’ history.

I could mention that Dallas Keuchel, who is getting a LOT more work than I would bet he thought he was gonna get, got the next 2 outs right quick, but gave up SIX runs in the second because Matt Dominguez completely botched a 5-4-3 to load the bases, then Ronny Cedeno couldn’t play a grounder and a run scores, a K, a real single, then a walk, then another fielding screwup as Corporan can’t throw the ball to first on what should have been a 1-2-3, then another single, and a double down the LF line (for once, not Carter’s fault) and 6 runs are in, 2 earned, but hey, runs are runs.

It’s not that Kazmir was any good, as he gave up 3 runs in the second (Brandon Laird homer!!!) 2 walks and a singe, and 3 in the third (Brandon Barnes homer!!!!) and got pulled with men on second and third in the 4th, don’t ask me why, because Cleveland was leading 18-6 at the time, seeing as how – I forgot – Travis Blackley, the new lefty (remember Xavier Cedeno got the heave ho) freshly offfn the DL, gave up a walk, a double, then a 3 run homer to Jason Giambi. Remember him? He’s one of the guys who used steroids but nobody cares because he ain’t goin near the Hall – tried to get the job as manager of the Rockies after having played there the past few years, but they didn’t want him, so he kept on playing as just a player and not a player manager.

Which we haven’t see in baseball since the last days of Pete Rose, which I really don’t remember. ┬áBut anyway, Rhiner Cruz managed to give up only 1 run in 1 inning and Paul Clemens pitched 3.1 scoreless. Good thing the Astros have 2 long men because looks like they gonna need them.

Sunday afternoon, it’s Erik Bedard, who, last start, couldn’t finish the first inning vs Ubaldo Jiminez, who used to be an ace de la ace for the Rox and suddenly just started being a less than average pitcher, and then Cleveland traded for him, thinking they could fix him, but they didn’t.

There weren’t even 10K people in the stands for Fireworks Friday (I don’t care what fake numbers get posted as official) and there appeared to be fewer tonight. Wonder if there will even be 5K – doubt it, not that they mind. I’m sure that the stands will be packed with Yankee/RedSox fans next week and they’ll be busy selling Yankee/RedSox stuff in The Shed instead of Astros gear, as they did last time those teams were in town.

Stros better step down their game though – they are winning the AL loss record, but unfortunately, the corpse of the Jeff Lorias have the major league lead…

Should I mention that Wandy threw 7 innings of 2 hit no walk ball against the Braves and got pulled after 82 pitches. Or that Mark Melancon seems to be cured of whatever ailed him last year? Or that Chris Johnson got 2 of the Braves 4 hits vs the Pirates today? Yeh, CJ is on FAHR, has kept the BA over .400 – not that I expect him to keep THAT up, but just the same, he’s outhitting and out fielding Matt Dominguez.

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