MVN - Most Valuable Network

Brandon Backe Leaves The Ball Up And J. R. Towles Drives In The Only Runs

Well, Brandon couldn’t seem to throw the baseball below the mid-thigh level. Now I’ll excuse him for 2 of the popup hits - in the first inning, Clank sashayed over when James Loney hit a popup which unfortunately fell a couple inches to the right of the foul line and went into the stands for a GR double. Clank being Clank. And later, Loney hit a popup that went into the 1st row of the Crawford Boxes, maybe 340′ - would have been an out anywheres else, but hey, the CB giveth and the CB taketh away, as the saying goes. And he also had a tough time because the HP ump, Tim Timmons had an EXTREMELY inconsistent strike zone. Doug Brocail, uh, explained nicely that 2 of the 4 “balls” he threw were right in the middle of the strike zone and the ump suggested he go get a beer and a massage. I think.

Anyhow,

the hitters, um, well, let me say that Billingsley didn’t have to break a sweat, except in the 5th, because the Astros swung at the first or second pitch and got their own fool selves out. Pence is slumping badly, and why on earth any pitcher throws him a FB I don’t know. There IS such a thing as being over aggressive. And Tejada - sigh - well, let’s say he has no business being elected to the ASG, let alone over Hanley Ramirez. The guy hasn’t hit worth a darn since May.

So here is an open letter (song) from me to the Astros Ball Club:

Midseason, gettin’ uptight.
Where are you?
You said you’d compete,
now are yall going to?
You know I’m hangin’
but I’m still wantin’ you.

Hey, Jack, It’s a fact
they’re talkin’ in town.
You won’t come back
and you’re messin’ around.
Aren’t you feeling foolsh
You like lookin’ like a clown???

I think of y’all ev’ry night and day.
You took my time
then you took my dough awayyayyayayay

And

Ah HATE MAHSELF FER LUVVVIN YEW
CAIN’T STOP WATCHIN THE DUMB THINGS YEW DO
AH WANNA QUIT N FIND OTHER THINGS TO DO
YEW CAN’T PLAY GOOD, BUT AH RUN TO WATCH YEW
THAT’S WHY AH HATE MAH SELF FER LUVVVVIN YEW!!!!

Daylight, spent the night writin bout you.
Cuz I’ve been dreamin’ ’bout the winnin you used to do.
Drayton, us fans iz angry ’bout the hell you put us through.

Hey, man, you just can’t not treat us fans right.
You just don’t know what this team is missin’ all right
I wanna see your face and say forget you just from spite.

Which is why

I hate myself for loving the Astros
Can’t break free no matter how bad it goes
I wanna walk but I run back to see,
How bad the Astros doin on the TV

oh yes

AH HATE MAHSELF FER LUVVIN YEW
CAIN’T STOP WATCHIN THE CRAPPY PLAYIN YEW DO
AH WANNA LEAVE THE STROS FANCLUB ITS TRUE
CUZ AH HATE MAHSELF FER LUVVVVIN YEW

I think of my old team ev’ry night and day.
You took Luke Scott
then you gave Brad Lidge away.

I hate myself fer watchin yew
Cain’t pitch, hit or field and yall suck, it’s true
The Good Guys were good PLAYERS, Drayton you fool
And I should boycott until my ardor cool

but

I KNOW ah cain’t stop luuuvvvin Stros
Into your pocket my money it goes

sigh

AND AH HATE MAHSELF FER LUVVIN YEW
CAIN’T BREAK FREE FROM WATCHIN YEW
AH HATE MAHSELF FER LUVVIN YEW
AH HATE MAHSELF FER LUVVIN YEW

(with apologies to miss jett)

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 3rd, 2008 at 7:24 pm and is filed under Bandon Backe. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.