Giants Cove

We Found the Real Matt Cain

By Nick Cannata-Bowman | July 1st, 2008

Well it looks like the ads I put out on milk cartons worked. Here I thought that Real Matt Cain had run away from home, but as it turns out he really was just taking an extended leave of absence. After getting roughed up for four runs in 5 innings on 8 hits against Cleveland, Real Matt Cain woke up and remembered that he kicks ass. Like, serious ass people. Think 8 innings, 2 hits, no runs, and 10 K’s against the best offense in the NL, and that’s how much ass Real Matt Cain kicks.

In devotion to the greatness that is Real Matt Cain, I’m going to gloat to my heart’s content. That is, until tomorrow night when Kevin Correia violently drags us back down to a world full of average pitchers that really aren’t that impressive or interesting to watch. Then we’re right back into deep space with Tim Lincecum and Jonathan Sanchez. Following those two starts, we’re dragged to the depths of hell by the pitcher whom I shan’t name (hint: his name rhymes with Scary Neato). It’s a vicious cycle that quite frankly has severely damaged my psyche to an extent where it can only be repaired through years of rigorous therapy.

More on topic, the Giants small-balled a big-ball team to death, albeit a Cubs team without Aramis Ramirez or Alfonso Soriano. Coming off a forgettable 9-2 loss at the hands of Barry Zito and the Cubs, Matt Cain came through in spades to help erase the memory of June 30th completely from our minds and to replace it with happy memories of puppies, kittens, and ass-kicking pitching performances.

Outside of the pitching performance, there were still kudos to be given out. Fred Lewis stealing home on a double steal was especially exciting. F-Lew’s double to deep center following his baserunning escapade topped off a damn good offensive night, as Lewis ended up scoring the Giants’ only two runs. The offense’s 2 run explosion wasn’t the only upside of the night though. With two outs in the 8th inning, Mark DeRosa hit a high hopper to the left of Jose Castillo, who dove parallel to the ground, got up, and threw a one-hop seed to first while falling forward.

After His Holiness Matthew Cain did his part to contribute to victory, Brian Wilson came in. I feel like a broken record saying this, but Wilson made it interesting as usual, displaying his ability to not pitch a 1-2-3 9th inning. Mike Krukow stated it better than I could ever, saying that Wilson “definitely puts some butter on the muffin.” You go Brian Wilson–you keep on buttering that muffin. Just remember, if you ever, ever take a win away from Matt Cain, I will…be very unhappy and might consider writing a strongly worded letter. Watch out.

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