MVN - Most Valuable Network

Sexson the Pity

I’ve watched the pitch about eight times. The only way it could have gotten anywhere near to coning Richie Sexson would have been if Sexson had been as fool enough to lean his head toward its trajectory as he proved to be when charging Kason Gabbard, flinging his helmet like Captain America’s shield at the Texas pitcher’s ducking side, and tackling Gabbard with a few shots to the head en route the mound dirt Thursday night.

Never mind that Seattle pitcher Felix Hernandez had plunked a pair of Rangers earlier—including Ian Kinsler, earlier the same inning, a couple of frames after he’d taken Hernandez for two over the left field fence. And never mind Sexson’s postgame fume: “I’m 6-foot-8. He can hit corners at will. 6-8 and all of a sudden he’s up that high? I’m a huge target. How hard is it to hit me? Hit me in the back or thigh. Up near my face is no good.”

Remember that one: “He can hit corners at will.” If only the Mariners could hit baseballs the way Richie Sexson charges and hits pitchers who miss his head by a yard at least.

No wonder this guy can’t seem to hit a baseball if he swung a hangar door for a bat. If Gabbard had really wanted to use Sexson as a message to the Mariners, he could have drilled Sexson in any number of places, Sexson being a target big enough that you couldn’t miss him if you needed cataract surgery before delivering.

Except that nobody’s going to use Sexson as that kind of messenger these days. He isn’t exactly the hitter most likely to turn a pitcher’s spine into a pipeline of cold cream no matter how tall he is, no matter that he’s got those seven bombs on the season to date. They’re still trying to figure out how he’s piling up a .303 on-base percentage when he’s barely hitting .209.

That pitch was a riser right down the pipe. Sexson’s head wasn’t even eight inches near the ball when it flew up and into Texas catcher Gerald Laird’s rising mitt. (Laird himself took one in the elbow from King Felix in the second.) Though all things considered it’s the closest Sexson has had his head in the game in a long time. He used to look like he’d taken lessons from Gil Hodges; since the opening of last season he’s looked like he’s taken lessons from Rob Deer.

Except a) he doesn’t strike out in Deer’s league; and, b) Deer would never have thought about charging the mound on a rising pitch that was far enough from his head that you could have thrown three pitches between his head and the riser.

“That,” fumed Texas Rangers’ television broadcaster Tom Grieve, as Sexson took Gabbard down, just before the Rangers and the Mariners poured out of their dugouts, “is a gutless, six-foot-seven, .200-hitting, formerly good player. What a joke.” One could find far more lacerating phrases to apply—and I had to turn up the volume to be certain Grieve said “joke” and not “jerk”—and many probably have by the time you see these words.

You wonder whether Sexson, whatever else was on his (I hate to use a four-letter word) mind at that moment, had forgotten Gabbard was just off the disabled list after shaking off a stiff back. Two batters later, once order was restored, Gabbard left the game with a possible leg injury.

Franklyn German (relieving Gabbard) picked up the win in relief as he opened a quartet of Texas bulls (Jamey Wright, former Mariner Eddie Guardado—who had to help keep Hernandez quiet during the brawl—and Frank Francisco) who finished what the Rangers started, a 5-0 shutout.

That performance was enough to earn this review from Dallas Morning News writer Evan Grant: “It’s amazing what a little order can do for the bullpen. Two weeks ago, the bullpen looked about as bad as Richie Sexson throwing a helmet.”

Thursday night the Ranger bullpen looked as good as Richie Sexson throwing a helmet. It was the most accurate throw Sexson has made all year.

“I think he reacted to the height of the ball, and not the location,” Laird told a reporter after the game. React to the height, sink to the depth. That about describes Sexson and his Mariners to perfection these days.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 9th, 2008 at 2:00 pm and is filed under American League West, Catbird, Kason Gabbard, Seattle Mariners, Texas Rangers, Richie Sexson. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.