photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
In Detroit, only questions. No hamsters.
Yesterday we thought we were getting hamsters. We thought that Placido Polanco had brought us the hamsters we had all been looking for. It turns out that those were false hamsters, or maybe just temporary hamsters, because today it was right back to the questions.
Questions such as: What in the cat damned hell is up with Justin Verlander?
Jack Morris said that he thinks Verlander is hurt. Many others have speculated along similar lines. It’s only natural; Verlander’s velocity is down, or at best very inconsistently up, and that’s often the sign of an injury.
Verlander has said, over and over again, that he feels fine. That his struggles are as much a mystery to him as they are to us. That his inability to keep opposing batters from sending balls flying out of the ballpark is an enigma wrapped in a riddle sandwiched by crispy fried question marks. That an injury would be a logical explanation, and he has no logical explanations to offer.
I know that it’s de rigueur for ballplayers to downplay injuries, to prevaricate and dissemble and all those good things. I know that full disclosure to the media and the fans is in some senses frowned upon. I just have a hard time believing that Verlander would straight up lie to the media. Say that he didn’t quite know what was wrong when he was injured, that I could see, but saying that he feels physically fine if he doesn’t, well, that would be a direct lie. Maybe I’m being naive, but I just don’t think Verlander would do that. Not when there are other things he could have said that would have been more vague and less outright lying.
So the question remains. What is up with Verlander? Is it his timing? Is it his arm angles? IS it the velocity (and if so, why is it down, if not via injury)?
While we’re at it, what is up with the bats? Or the non-bats, as the case may be. I know this was Josh Beckett, but come ON, there’s SOMEthing going wrong out there. Granderson seems to have remembered that he strikes out a lot. Nobody seems to want to take a damn walk. No one can get hits, it seems, unless there are two outs on the board. Why? Why is this?
Nobody really knows, unless the front office is a LOT more sneaky than I’d thought. The hamsters have escaped. Nobody in Detroit has the hamsters right now.
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10 Responses to “In Detroit, only questions. No hamsters.”
May 9th, 2008 at 2:49 am
What is particularly vexing is that for portions of games, Verlander has been very effective. He has not thrown as consistently hard as in the past, however. We need hamsters now.
May 9th, 2008 at 6:09 am
I bet Youkilis found and killed the Hamsters.
May 9th, 2008 at 6:53 am
Has anyone done a comparison chart on Inge or Pudge paired with Verlander? That’s my new theory. Everyone forgets that Verlander’s still pretty young, and maybe he’s suffering from having Inge who’s not as good a game caller being unable to help him through this…
May 9th, 2008 at 7:05 am
tiff — No! No! The hamsters are not dead! You’re lying! /rocking and humming with fingers in ears.
Yeah, Verlander’s young. No doubt Pudge helps him some, but I don’t really think you can lay much of this on Inge. It’s not like Pudge can just go out to the mound and say “Oye, Brandon–I’ve noticed that you’re not throwing as hard, and seem to be getting fewer people out. My advice as a player and as your friend is that you throw faster.” If only it were that simple. :-)
May 9th, 2008 at 7:32 am
I don’t want to say that any harm came to the hamsters, but have you guys seen Youk’s goatee? I’m a little afraid that he caught, killed, and skinned a hamster to obtain that thing…
That’s a good question, Stacey. I don’t have a fancy chart or anything, but he’s pitched in 3 losses with Inge catching and 4 losses with Pudge catching (one of which had a lot of unearned runs). His one win came with Pudge behind the plate but, more importantly, it also came with 10 runs from the bats.
Actually, now that I’ve looked at it, in none of his losses except for the first one have the Tigers scored more than 2 runs. Ugh. I mean, Verlander’s struggles are very real, but that’s just frustrating as all hell.
Anyways, I tend to agree with both you and Matt– I think a vet behind the plate is probably of some help to Verlander and if it’s possible to pair Inge up with the more veteran pitchers from now on I reckon that’d be a good policy, but I also don’t think it’s a major factor in Verlander’s issues. At most it’s just another drop in an already overflowing bucket of pitching angst.
May 9th, 2008 at 8:56 am
I had to come out of lurkdom and comment on this one:
Youkilis = You Kill Us
Am I the only one who has noticed this? And now he’s gotten to the hamsters too. :(
May 9th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I think the hamsters don’t like to help out too much in consecutive days perhaps? Most likely they were still enjoying the afterglow of our exciting win the night before and sleeping off the hangover in the clubhouse. That has to be why they weren’t sighted on the field last night.
My guess is they will be good and ready to scurry among the Yankees tonight as we all know the Yankees have a strong aversion to any small critters that might distract them. I definitely think the Hamsters were with the team in New York and most likely they didn’t find the right crate to make the trip to Minnesota.
Verlander needs to find his consistency again… he needs a good long hamster therapy session.
May 9th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Maybe most of the hamsters stayed in new york, and were just waiting to get a ride back…
May 9th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
who let the hamsters out?
[sorry, someone needed to do it]
May 10th, 2008 at 8:16 am
heit, he certainly kills the Tigers, and kills in Comerica. It makes no sense, he doesn’t do that against anyone else, but I guess it’s just one of those baseball things.
Paul, I love the idea of a hamster therapy session for Verlander, mostly because I imagine him sitting on the floor playing with like 50 hamsters in plastic balls.
Stacey, caryn, apparently the hamsters are travelling with the Yankees.
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