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Sadly Disinterested in the Olympics

Call me an ugly American, but I simply don’t care about the upcoming Olympic Games. While it is entirely possible that I might be out of touch with mainstream America, it seems my lack of interest may not be unique. Here’s a list of reasons why:

1. The Russians Aren’t the Soviets Anymore
Let’s face it, all this peace, brotherhood and joys of athletic competition talk is mostly politically correct rhetoric. What made the Olympics really interesting back in the day was the idea of beating those no good Communists. Sure, China is one of the last beacons of communist ideology left, but do we really dislike them like we flat out hated the Soviet Union?

Think that was not the driving force behind Olympic interest? Ask anyone over 45 what their most memorable Olympic moment was and you will get the 1972 USSR-USA basketball game. Over 35 and you will get the 1980 Miracle on Ice (and most will erroneously tell you that contest was for the gold medal). Over 25, the likely answer will be The Dream Team laying waste to every country’s best in basketball.

2. The Summer Olympics are Mostly a Big Track Meet
Yes, I know that’s not really true, but probably the best athletes in the world truly going head to head happens in Track and Field and I have no doubt that interests at least some portion of America. However, and let me preface this by saying that I have a neice who pole vaults in the Big 12, a nephew who was a Division II All American distance runner and a daughter who runs track, I hate track meets.

I have yet to understand why no meet, even the Olympics, can ever run on schedule (if they even have one). True track fans seem to relish the lack of organization. However, any parent who has showed up at 7:00 in the morning to watch their kid long jump and then been advised that the 100 meter dash will begin ’sometime after lunch’ is likely not to set the DVR in August to catch the 4×100 relay.

3. Archery and Shooting Are Olympic Sports
Don’t get me wrong, I truly understand just how good the people are that compete in these events: their accuracy is almost beyond belief. Still, wouldn’t these sports be far more entertaining if the competitors had to track and hit moving targets up in some holler somewhere?

4. Beach Volleyball
Okay, I will probably watch the women’s portion of this event, but only because I AM an ugly American male.

5. There Are Lots of Water Events
I will resist the almost required jab at synchronized swimming here and freely admit that competitive swimmers, rowers, kayakers and divers are finely honed athletes. Still, when was the last time you attended any of those events without knowing, or more likely being related, to one of the competitors? I am not denigrating the events, just saying they are not that interesting to the casual fan.

6. Table Tennis
The problem with this sport is that the most annoying kid in your class was always the best ping pong player. If you don’t think that was true, then YOU were the most annoying kid in your class and probably still own your own paddle.

7. Soccer Takes Place
I’m not only an ugly American, but an unabashed capitalist and a conservative (mostly). As such, I hate soccer. Yes, I know ‘the world disagrees’, but the idea that being able to run faster without the ball than the guy guarding you just seems ‘un-American’ to me.

Alright, before anyone gets all hyped up, take the above as some tongue-in-cheek fun. Come August when the games get rolling, I will be at least some attention to them. Chances are, something like rowing or badminton or archery will suck me in and capture my interest after all.

For now, however, my anticipation level is zero and once the Olympics end, I’ll likely not be spending much time around the water cooler discussing them. My guess is, ugly or not, I am not alone in those sentiments.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 11th, 2008 at 9:06 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.