MVN: Most Valuable Network

Conditioned by my profession to look for history as it is being made, recent events have taken the world by storm and have shaken our view of all that we know. Do I speak of a collapsing economy? Pffft. What about the nation's first African-American president? HAH! These are but mere trivia in the great narrative of human history.

Instead, the earth-shattering episode to which I refer is the Pittsburgh Steelers and the San Diego Chargers being the first competitors in NFL history (almost 13,000 games) to finish a game with an 11-10 final score! It helps to know what is really important.

Speaking of that which is most crucial, we are approaching crunch time in fantasy football. League playoffs begin in the coming weeks and fantasy owners are scrambling to make sure their rosters are prepared. I am here to mock and scorn mercilessly.

OK, I am officially done with St. Louis Rams running back Steven Jackson. Despite warning against him in the preseason, like a donkey I got stuck with the sixth and seventh picks in my two fantasy leagues and ended up drafting him in both. He has delivered exactly ONE great week and has been pretty much useless the rest of the way. You, my faithful half dozen readers, have permission to physically assault me next preseason if I even consider drafting this schmohawk (a fantasy baseball reference -- please follow the link to the Razzball glossary of fantasy lingo).

I badmouthed Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Tyler Thigpen last week as a fraudulent pretender of a QB. While he did not exactly prove me right last weekend, he did not exactly prove me wrong either. Facing an awful New Orleans Saints defense, Thigpen only completed 50 percent of his passes, was sacked four times and had one interception. His two touchdown passes did mitigate the damage, but to me the jury is still out on this kid.

Not usually one to blow my own horn (I generally let underage Thai hookers do that for me), I must point out that most of my running back picks in "Fantasy football: Week eleven position rankings" ended up being pretty money. I predicted 100 yards and two touchdowns from Atlanta Falcons RB Michael Turner (only 81 yards, but he got the two TDs) and I picked Marshawn Lynch to get his first 100-yard game of the year (done). I did not really go out on a limb with the other picks and their results were mixed.

I know it's hard to believe, but the Carolina Panthers racked up 264 rushing yards against the monster D of the Detroit Lions. Rookie running back Jonathan Stewart and regular starter DeAngelo Williams split most of that total and three touchdowns between them. I am a big fan of Stewart's and I think he is a big name to watch in the coming years, but this division of carries still hurts him more than Williams. I would not use him on a regular basis as anything but a flex back.

Man, my arm is starting to hurt from patting myself on the back, but did you happen to notice who I picked to be the number one and two wide receivers for week 11? Try Arizona Cardinals dynamic receiving duo Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. Though, amazingly, neither one of them made it into the end zone, their 23 receptions and 337 yards receiving is a fine example of how fantasy points can be compiled without TDs. I am getting excited just thinking about it.

He is far from the sexiest name on the New England Patriots roster, but wideout Jabar Gaffney pulled in seven catches for 86 yards and a touchdown. The maturation of young quarterback Matt Cassell is a development that could improve Gaffney's anemic fantasy value. Given that the Pats upcoming schedule includes games at Miami in week 12, at Seattle in week 14, at Oakland in week 15 and against Arizona in week 16, Gaffney and Cassell could be solid fill-ins in the fantasy playoffs. Still, Gaffney is no better than a number three WR.

Tennessee Titans QB Kerry Collins has posted some good numbers in the last two weeks, but this week's matchup against the Jets could be a dangerous one for the journeyman veteran. Despite the fact that the Jets have one of the worst passing defenses in the NFL, somehow they sit at third place in the league with 34 sacks. Considering the fact that Collins is older and not terribly mobile, that statistic could mean trouble for Collins this week. You have been warned.

Another word of caution to you fantasy geeks out there. Word around the campfire in the Washington, D.C. area is that young quarterback Jason Campbell has become a little too fond of the party scene around here. The rumors are serious enough that local talk radio blather was filled with discussion today of Campbell's alcoholic exploits following the Redskins' Sunday night loss to the Cowboys. To be fair, this is nothing but hearsay, but it might help to explain Campbell's less than stellar performances the last few weeks.

Quietly and almost without notice, Jacksonville Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew has tied himself for first in the NFL with eleven touchdowns by scoring six in the last three weeks. I am sure that most Jones-Drew owners have not slept on this development, even as his meager yardage totals have conspired to keep him out of starting lineups. But if you take into the account the general ineffectiveness of the Jags offense, it makes sense that Jones-Drew would get a lot of scoring opportunities.

Amidst the 13-13 abortion that was the Philadelphia Eagles-Cincinnati Bengals game on Sunday, the two most notable occurrences in that affair were the dismal performance of Eagles QB Donovan McNabb and the show put on by Bengals wideout T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Neither one has been reliable for much of anything this season, but I would at least consider TJH a decent option going forward for the remainder of the year. Is it possible that McNabb is done as a fantasy force?

I can be fair-minded, I promise. Even as I strained my right rotator cuff patting myself on the back earlier, every single one of my tight end picks went down in flames. Not one of my picks scored a touchdown or even got more than four measly fantasy points. However, you know as well as I do that not a single fantasy expert picked Benjamin Watson or Martellus Bennett to be a standout performer for the week, so it is not entirely my fault. Still, I wanted to show that I could point out my manifest flaws as well as my genius. And yes, I am a genius.

Finally, it was a pretty good week for defenses, even if none was superlative. The Philadelphia Eagles sacked Cincinnati Bengals QB Ryan Fitzpatrick eight times, the Arizona Cardinals picked off returning Seattle Seahawks starter Matt Hasselbeck three times, and the Chicago Bears offensive juggernaut (wink wink) was held by the Green Bay Packers to a mere three points.

See you guys Friday!!