MVN: Most Valuable Network

It's that time of year. Time to honor the Thanksgiving holiday by singling out the screw-ups in the NFL, those who have fallen flat on their face within the last year -- in other words, those who deserve to be named one of our "2008 NFL Turkeys of the Year."  Anthony Brown and Greg Trippiedi of MVN Outsider have each selected their top three turkeys in the NFL, and we've also asked a group of bloggers to give us their picks for the league's top turkey.

Anthony Brown's three turkeys:

NFL Thanksgiving Day TV Line-Up
What a turkey the NFL is serving on Thursday -- the 10-1 Tennessee Titans at the 0-11 Detroit Lions, the 2-9 Seattle Seahawks at the 7-4 Dallas Cowboys, and the 7-4 Arizona Cardinals at the 5-5-1 Philadelphia Eagles. Tennessee (-11) and Dallas (-12.5) are prohibitive favorites to win their games. Philadelphia is allowed home field advantage (-3) over visiting Arizona, but the drama is on the sideline as we guess how much longer Donovan McNabb will keep his job with the fading Eagles. The NCAA's Texas A&M at Texas will be a better game Thanksgiving night. Thanksgiving football in Detroit and Dallas are NFL traditions, but the league should have flexed out of these games weeks ago.

The Kansas City Chefs
Yeah, yeah, I know it's "Chiefs," but like that famous commercial asked, who are these guys? They aren't the Chiefs who once were a feared offensive power with a decent defense. Those Chiefs disappointed in the playoffs, but at least they got there. These guys are 1-10 and missing a few more pieces than the letter "i." They don't have a defense. They don't have a quarterback worth keeping. Their offensive line is suspect. It's hard to see any foundation being laid for the future. The home town Kansas City Star compares GM Carl Peterson, head coach Herm Edwards and personnel director Bill Kuharich to Larry, Moe and Curley. Isn't that an insult to Larry, Moe and Curley?

Michigan Football
Football in Michigan is a mutant three headed turkey this year. Detroit Lion fans are suffering severe indigestion. Usually when the Lions were down, football fans could reliably turn to the Michigan Wolverines. The Wolverines picked Rich Rodriguez to modernize their football program and we knew it would take more than a season. But 3-9? Tell me again what was so wrong with Lloyd Carr?

The Michigan State Spartans ceased to be a football power when Nick Saban left. Though the Spartans are moving in the right direction under Mark Dantonio, MSU lost to Ohio State and Penn State by the combined score of 94-25. Thank goodness for Grand Valley State (11-0).

Football fans in Michigan can give thanks that basketball season is here. And we can give thanks for all of our readers out there. Enjoy the weekend.

Greg Trippiedi's three turkeys:

Commentator John Madden, NBC Sports
According to Frank Caliendo, John Madden has always been master of the obvious.  That makes him less than appealing for a diehard fan to listen to.  However, Madden has rarely been more wrong on most issues than he has been this year.  Not generally a negative guy, he's been passively throwing more and more players under the bus in his old age.  John Madden also missed a game between the Bucs and the Seahawks in Tampa because he didn't want to travel across the country in the Madden-cruiser twice in two weeks.  That's understandable, but his replacement, Cris Collinsworth, did a far better job when teamed with Al Michaels than Madden has done all season.  The Hall of Fame coach and broadcaster should probably call it a career after this year.

TE Jeremy Shockey, New Orleans Saints
Shockey forced a trade from New York to New Orleans this summer, and while Drew Brees has gone on to enjoy a career year, Shockey hasn't really been a part of it with injuries and disciplinary issues.  Meanwhile, the New York Giants are posting the best offense in the NFL this season, and the only mediocre player on the entire offense is TE Kevin Boss, who would certainly be behind Shockey on the depth chart if he was healthy.  The Jeremy Shockey trade appears to have hurt all parties involved, and now it's Shockey's NFL future that will come into question this offseason.

Commentator Jim Nantz, CBS Sports 
Apparently, holding a desk job on NFL Today qualifies Nantz to be the play-by-play commentator on the "A" team broadcast booth for CBS, along with Phil Simms.  Nantz may be the most boring man in sports media, but that would be acceptable if he would describe cricial plays in games by using more than just one word or phrase to sum up the action. I'm not looking forward to a running commentary involving such luminating exchanges as: "Culpepper.  Down.  VandenBosch." Nantz is the real Thanksgiving turkey, because he'll be trapped in a booth at Ford Field this week calling the Lions and Titans game, while I'm at home eating very moist Turkey.

Other takes from around the sports blogosphere...

Larry Brown Sports writes:

I could probably take the easy way out and just rail on Pacman Jones or Al Davis as I'm sure many people would be inclined to do.  Ditto with my crappy Bengals.  But if there's one pick for NFL's turkey of the year, it would have to be the Detroit Lions.  The Lions play on Thanksgiving every single year -- good team or bad team.  Lately it's been strictly the latter.  This time around, we could be witnessing one of the most notorious seasons in the league's history: a team that goes 0-16.  The Lions are good enough to score more points than some teams that have won games, but they still keep figuring out ways to blow leads and lose games.  They'll be 0-12 after this week and potentially 0-16 at the end of the year.  Turkey of the year?  Try turkey of the league's history.

Cincy Jungle writes:

My pick for Turkey of the Year goes to Roger Goodell for leading an effort to inconsistently fine players and the re-admittance of Adam "Pacman" Jones. My chief argument was during the Bengals lone win this season, when John Henderson dug his fingers into Andrew Whitworth's unprotected eyes. In order to save one from having permanent vision damage, Whitworth did what any self-respecting person would, fight back. While Whitworth was fined $10,000 for the fight, it was generally believed that Henderson's fine would weigh more, with at least a one-game suspension. Henderson was fined the same amount and not suspended. Another 18 players were fined for "unnecessarily entering the fight area."

The Sports Hernia writes:
 
Wade Phillips - This was an easy one because with Wade, the turkey label works both literally and figuratively. I mean, how can anyone else in the league be turkey of the year when there's a guy out there who sports a fleshy waddle like this? Secondly, how can he be excused for his talented team's fowl play and knack for clucking up in the big spot?

He's a turkey, a big flabby one that's been sitting in the oven far too long, making Clark Griswold's famously disappointing bird look like it was thoughtfully prepared by Bobby Flay himself.

The World of Isaac writes:

A wise man once said...

"Maybe I'm more obsessed with breasts and legs than Colonel Sanders ever was"

Which brings us to our good ole pal Pacman Jones. 

Make no mistake about it, there are an abundant amount of "turkeys" in the NFL.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if my hometown Lions pull away with this award.

But as stupid and moronic as the entire Lions organization is, it bares no comparison to Jones.  A man that is so obsessed with making it rain at the strip club, so obsessed with being the life of the party that he risked his entire life for it.

Folks, I love boobies as much as anyone but if given the choice between the strip club and millions of dollars, only a turkey would choose the former.

The Wayne Fontes Experience writes:

As a Detroiter, I could name more than just a turkey, but a whole damn buffet's worth. Matt Millen, Rod Marinelli, Jon Kitna, Daunte Culpepper, those who want to take away our Thanksgiving Day game tradition, they are all turkeys full of s...tuffing.

But I'm going to have to go with the biggest turkey of them all, Detroit Lions owner William Clay Ford. This turkey is a double threat of ineptitude. Not only has Ford's inability to run the Lions anywhere but into the ground ruined a nation's appetite on Thanksgiving, the company that bears his name is on the verge of collapse, and ruining the lives of the tens of thousands of Detroiters and Michiganders who depend upon Ford Motor for a living.

That's a true turkey. An over-done one...

Thanks to Larry Brown Sports, Cincy Jungle, The Sports Hernia, The World of Isaac, and The Wayne Fontes Experience for making their picks! Feel free to post your own in the comments section!