Sometimes we look for story ideas on Google News.

Just type in ‘St. Louis Cardinals’ in the search box and endless amounts of stories pop up for us to plagiarize and then put up on our site as our own and take all the glory.

But sometimes the stories are so apropos, there really just isn’t much to comment on.

YOU GUYS!!!  What in the world is even going ON right now??? 

I can’t help but panic, as it’s traditionally what I do every single time the Cardinals lose to the Cubs.  But COME ON!  CLEARLY there is something off in the universe when this happens with any sort of regularity. 

Seriously?  Those guys?  This team?  This year?  I must have been seeing things.  SURELY, this very competent team did not commit three errors in one game.  SURELY, I must be hallucinating that Jake Westbrook gave up 11 hits over five innings. 

There is NO WAY that Alfonso Soriano did useful things. 

I just can’t believe any of this absurd information.  After that completely depressing series against Atlanta, there is NO WAY the birds on the bat extended this losing streak to four games.